Sportsmanship

          As most of you know, I've been doing the pageant thing for a long time. I mean, a REALLY long time. The experiences that I've had range from positively life-changing to absolutely awful. I guess that I have always just accepted that bad experiences come with participation in a competitive field. I wonder though, does it have to?

           When I compare my good and bad experiences, the constant factor that jumps out at me is sportsmanship or the lack thereof. And I can simplify it even more than that – BEING NICE OR NOT BEING NICE. Believe it or not it really is just that simple.

The worst experiences that I have had throughout my years competing in pageants always seem to boil down to a lack of sportsmanship and kindness. They have had nothing to do with the outcome of the pageant. I have had incredible experiences at pageants that I didn't even place at, let alone win. And on the contrary, I have left a local with the title that I sought, feeling sad because of the negative environment backstage.

          It's so easy to get caught up in the “competition”.  Each and every contestant works incredibly hard in preparation for a local and the reality is that there's only one title.  (I know there are a few multiple title pageants but there is still only one title.)  So yes, it is frustrating to feel like your hard work didn’t pay off. If the only gage of success you choose to use is whether or not you win the title, then you have placed a lot of pressure on yourself and you will walk away frustrated and angry. I have learned over the years that if you really open yourself up to the entire experience of pageantry, there is so much more to be gained than just the title.

          When I competed in Miss New York 2012 I didn't make the Top 10. I didn't win any non-finalist awards. A lot of people would say that I walked away empty-handed, but that couldn't be less true. That week at Miss New York was incredible. I met some amazing girls, including the young woman that was to ultimately become Miss America 2014, Nina Davuluri. My roommate that year, Caitlin, was awesome and we supported each other 100%. I may not have won any official awards, but I had my Miss New York moment that year. 

                                                 (My awesome roommate, Caitlin, and I)

                                           (Misty and I, posing for an awkward prom photo)

                                   (Jessica, Caitlin, and myself after Thursday night prelims)

                                                (The Miss New York class of 2012)

                                 (My Miss New York moment)

          

           It is so important for contestants to reach further than the crown and find something more to strive for during competition. Of course the title is important. If it wasn't there wouldn't be anyone competing. But there is so much more and you are missing out on a lot if your only goal is to win the crown. The connections that can be made are truly one-of-a-kind. I've learned that no one can support me in the same way that another contestant can, someone who is experiencing the same things that I am experiencing. And if you're only there to get a crown, then the odds are really stacked against you. ONE girl will go home with a title. But ALL of the girls can go home with new friends and a positive experience that builds their confidence and broadens their horizons.

          As I'm preparing for my fourth trip to Miss New York, my plan is very simple. I am going to: ignore the negative; embrace the positive; encourage EVERYONE and not let ANYONE put me down. I will stay true to myself and have fun with my friends, both old and new. I am ready for everything that this experience has to offer me, whether or not it sparkles and shines.