Is Miss New York Really That Close?

                                                                 
     Here we are, the class of 2014! I am so honored to be a part of this amazing group of young women. With just over a month before the next Miss New York is crowned, I can't help being super excited. I find myself daydreaming about the pageant constantly, fortunately I can still focus in school. (Speaking of which, my 4.0 stands strong)
                                                                   

                       This was my first final of the year. If had I been just a little more cautious

                             with my final look at it, I wouldn't have left an answer blank.

     I had a really nice time at the workshop held in Staten Island a few weeks ago. I had already met most of the contestants, but I finally got to meet everyone and spend a little time with them. These girls are so great! Not only are they beautiful and talented, but they're all extremely intelligent and passionate. It's so inspiring to be surrounded by women who know what they want and are not afraid to go for it. I drove to the city the night before with my mom to avoid any issues in transportation the next morning.(Again, she's the best!) The day was spent going over pageant week schedule, wardrobe requirements, and walking patterns. Deb Cantoni, the new state ED, and her family were incredibly welcoming and accommodating. I'm really looking forward to working with them during pageant week. Overall it was a tiring trip, but I had a really good time with the girls and I can't wait to see them again. 

                                                                      

                                                   With Adrienne Wilson, Miss Syracuse!

                                    My mom made the long trip to Staten Island so much better!

        For the second year, the Irish step dancing nurses unite! Caitlin is the best. Period.

       Just a few days before I left for workshop my talent costume came in the mail and I love it! I always get a little nervous ordering costumes or gowns online, but I couldn't be happier with it. It is now in the very talented hands of my mother who will bling it into brilliance. 

With everything falling into place and the days passing by so quickly, I almost can't believe that it's almost time to pack my garment bags and head back to the city. Naturally I'm a little nervous, but with the incredible support of my family (and that includes my pageant family) I know that this is going to be my best year yet. I can't wait to show everyone just how hard I have been working. I have come so far over the past few years, and I feel like it's really paying off.

Sportsmanship

          As most of you know, I've been doing the pageant thing for a long time. I mean, a REALLY long time. The experiences that I've had range from positively life-changing to absolutely awful. I guess that I have always just accepted that bad experiences come with participation in a competitive field. I wonder though, does it have to?

           When I compare my good and bad experiences, the constant factor that jumps out at me is sportsmanship or the lack thereof. And I can simplify it even more than that – BEING NICE OR NOT BEING NICE. Believe it or not it really is just that simple.

The worst experiences that I have had throughout my years competing in pageants always seem to boil down to a lack of sportsmanship and kindness. They have had nothing to do with the outcome of the pageant. I have had incredible experiences at pageants that I didn't even place at, let alone win. And on the contrary, I have left a local with the title that I sought, feeling sad because of the negative environment backstage.

          It's so easy to get caught up in the “competition”.  Each and every contestant works incredibly hard in preparation for a local and the reality is that there's only one title.  (I know there are a few multiple title pageants but there is still only one title.)  So yes, it is frustrating to feel like your hard work didn’t pay off. If the only gage of success you choose to use is whether or not you win the title, then you have placed a lot of pressure on yourself and you will walk away frustrated and angry. I have learned over the years that if you really open yourself up to the entire experience of pageantry, there is so much more to be gained than just the title.

          When I competed in Miss New York 2012 I didn't make the Top 10. I didn't win any non-finalist awards. A lot of people would say that I walked away empty-handed, but that couldn't be less true. That week at Miss New York was incredible. I met some amazing girls, including the young woman that was to ultimately become Miss America 2014, Nina Davuluri. My roommate that year, Caitlin, was awesome and we supported each other 100%. I may not have won any official awards, but I had my Miss New York moment that year. 

                                                 (My awesome roommate, Caitlin, and I)

                                           (Misty and I, posing for an awkward prom photo)

                                   (Jessica, Caitlin, and myself after Thursday night prelims)

                                                (The Miss New York class of 2012)

                                 (My Miss New York moment)

          

           It is so important for contestants to reach further than the crown and find something more to strive for during competition. Of course the title is important. If it wasn't there wouldn't be anyone competing. But there is so much more and you are missing out on a lot if your only goal is to win the crown. The connections that can be made are truly one-of-a-kind. I've learned that no one can support me in the same way that another contestant can, someone who is experiencing the same things that I am experiencing. And if you're only there to get a crown, then the odds are really stacked against you. ONE girl will go home with a title. But ALL of the girls can go home with new friends and a positive experience that builds their confidence and broadens their horizons.

          As I'm preparing for my fourth trip to Miss New York, my plan is very simple. I am going to: ignore the negative; embrace the positive; encourage EVERYONE and not let ANYONE put me down. I will stay true to myself and have fun with my friends, both old and new. I am ready for everything that this experience has to offer me, whether or not it sparkles and shines.

A Look at What's Coming Up

     Happy 2014! Just one week into the new year and it’s already shaping up to be amazing. I have a really good feeling about this year, and with so much going on I’m super excited to see the way that things unfold.

     I’m pleased to report that school is going extremely well. I have maintained a 4.0 GPA since the beginning of school, and I am in the top of my class. We have been in the clinical setting for 6 weeks and it’s going really well. I’m learning a lot, and I greatly enjoy working with the residents  

     This month is jam-packed with locals, and I can’t wait! As much as I love being on the stage, it’s really fun to be in the audience and support all of the contestants without the stress of competing. I must admit that my heart still races a bit as the winners are being announced. Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to attend the Miss Flower City pageant this past weekend in Rochester. But I am incredibly excited to announce that Anneliese Trust, my 1^st runner-up at Miss Central New York, was crowned Miss Flower City 2014! I’ve had the pleasure of competing with Anneliese twice, and I’m very proud of her.

     This Saturday I will travel to the Nasser Civic Center in Corning for the Miss Finger Lakes/ Miss Upstate Pageant. It’s a long drive, about 4 hours, but I’m really excited to go as I have a lot of friends competing for these two titles.  Although I have been in this facility before it was never for the pageant. I am looking forward to see who joins Anneliese, Olivia, Jamie, Stephanie and I in the Miss New York Class of 2014.

The next two weekends will find me in attendance at Miss Fulton County and Miss Mohawk Valley. Both of these locals occupy a special place in my heart. I had the pleasure to represent both Fulton County in 2009 and the Mohawk Valley in 2012. Miss Fulton County will be at the Gloversville High School in Gloversville on January 18^th. Miss Mohawk Valley will be held at the Vernon-Verona-Sherrill Central School in Verona on January 25^th. Please check out their websites for details about their upcoming pageants. www.missmohawkvalley.com and  www.missfultoncountyny.org

     I really encourage everyone to come out and support the local pageants and the young women competing in them. These pageants provide such an amazing opportunity, and they are completely volunteer-run. Your support of the locals provides scholarships to many deserving young woman throughout New York State.  This is a program that truly changes lives of the competitors and those who benefit from their work with their personnel platforms. Check out the Miss New York website at: www.missny.org for information on additional upcoming locals. Who knows, you may witness the local crowning of the next Miss America.  A “three-peat” would be great!!

A Word on Dating Violence from the Mother of a Survivor

     Hello all! My mom, Maxine, is a truly incredible woman. On top of her impressive personal accomplishments, she has raised myself and my sisters to be strong young women. My mom gave me a tremendous amount of support when I left my abusive relationship. Dating violence doesn't only affect the victim; families suffer as well. My mom wanted to share some tips and information for parents who may, unfortunately, find themselves in the same situation that she did.     

My mom and I, a year and a half after I left my abusive relationship

 Dating violence can happen to any teen in a romantic, dating, or sexual relationship, anytime, anywhere. But it doesn't have to happen.

     One national survey reported that 1 in 10 teens have been hit or physically hurt on purpose by a boyfriend or girlfriend at least once in the preceding 12 months. And, sadly, nearly half of all teens in relationships say they know friends who have been verbally abused.

A teen may experience controlling behavior and demands before the violence begins. Over time, the unhealthy behavior may become violent. This is why adults need to talk to teens about the importance of developing healthy, respectful relationships.

     Dating violence can have a negative effect on health throughout life. Victims of teen dating violence are more likely to do poorly in school, and report binge drinking, suicide attempts, physical fighting, reckless sexual activity, and low self-esteem. Teens who commit dating violence may also carry these patterns of violence into future relationships.

     Parents need to understand that teens do not often tell their parents of the abuse due to the fear that they will question the teen’s judgment, try to take charge, or take away privileges or independence.Parents should be encouraging, comforting and supportive if their teen confides in them. While normal reactions can include: shock, anxiety or anger, it is important for parents to control their emotions. A negative reaction can frighten your teen.

It may be and usually is difficult for the teen to leave an abusive relationship. Parents must understand that the abuser exerts control and power over the victim.

     Teens should be reminded that they are not responsible for the abuse. Parents must help their teen recognize their strengths and help them explore their options and reach their own decisions. Parents should also help their teen come up with a safety plan and discuss how they can stay safe.

     Education is a vital tool in helping to deal with dating violence. Children and teens place a lot of emphasis on what they see and hear on TV, at the movies, and from peers. Providing education about healthy relationships could help to decrease the incidents of dating violence.

New York State currently has legislation in committee for implementing educational programs in schools (S04860 and A00518). Unfortunately this legislation has been sitting in the Education Committee for several years. A concerted effort must be made to encourage forward movement on this legislation.

While waiting for the legislation to become law parents can do several things if they suspect their child is involved in an abusive relationship…

v  Keep the lines of communication open.

v  Do not pressure your child to end the relationship.

v  Reassure your child that you are there for him/her should you be needed.

v  Keep the National Domestic Violence Hotline number handy.                                   

iIt is 1-800-799-SAFE.

v  Let your child know that they can call this number for support if they are worried about speaking to you.

v  Brainstorm some helpful strategies together. Make them ‘just in case’ scenarios.

If they are sure their child has been abused…

v  Without a doubt, take a victim who has been physically hurt to the hospital right away.

v  Reassure them that their physical well-being comes first. You can talk about how it happened when he/she is better.

v  Don’t nag - hug, pamper, console.

v  After they have received medical care, contact the police or talk with the hospital social worker who can contact authorities for you.

v  If your child tells you about physical and/or emotional abuse against him/her it is time to contact the authorities.

If you aren’t sure where to call, try the local police or the National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-SAFE).

Children's Miracle Network- You Can Help Make Miracles Happen

    We've all heard of the Children’s Miracle Network and the facilities that are funded through the generous donations of people all across the country. But do you know the true impact of this incredible organization? The Children’s Miracle Network hospitals raise funds and support for 170 hospitals in North America. 1 in 10 children in North America will be treated by the Children’s Miracle Network and 62 children every minute will enter a CMN hospital. This organization is committed to providing life-saving medical treatment to children, regardless of economic status.

   This Miss America Organization has a partnership with the Children’s Miracle Network and the contestants at all levels raise money and awareness for the hospitals. It is a true honor to be a part of this partnership, and to be able to have a real impact on the lives of these beautiful children.

    My family was very fortunate; we never had to deal with any major accidents or illnesses when we were kids. But for so many families, the reality of childhood cancer and debilitating accidents is harsh. The Children’s Miracle Network is here for these families in their time of need. I guarantee that someone in your life, if not yourself, has been touched by the Children’s Miracle Network. These hospitals need support so that they can continue to provide life-saving treatment. 

If you would like to donate to the Children's Miracle Network, please visit the link below:

http://www.missamericaforkids.org/Donate/1039991E83D451A27

'Tis the Season

Merry Christmas! Well, a belated Merry Christmas.  I truly hope that you all enjoyed a peaceful and safe holiday. This year was a very special Christmas for me. It’s been a long year for my family, between floods and pageants and graduations and school, and it was nice to be able to bask in each other’s health and company. My sister, Keelie, traveled from NYC to spend a few days with us. My other sister, Kieren, and her fiancé Shawn made the much shorter drive from Schenectady to be with us. We enjoyed homemade pizza and monkey bread on Christmas Eve as we continued our tradition of opening pajamas and new ornaments. On Christmas day, we spent the morning with my dad and step-mom and the afternoon/evening with my mom. I had the honor of cooking Christmas dinner, and while it was non-traditional (with a few road bumps) I’d say it was a success.

From left: Our dad, Keelie, Kieren, and myself

We like to make funny faces :)

Super close up!

Above anything else, this Christmas made me thankful. No, it wasn't perfect. But it was Christmas with the people I love and that’s really all that I need. I am so thankful for the wonderful people that fill my life: my family, friends, classmates, and directors. Today my sisters went home and everything is back to normal. I miss them already. There’s nothing like this time of year to make you cherish the simple things in life: friendship, love, laughter. So, Merry Christmas everyone! And may the spirit of the season linger a little bit longer this year.

Catching Up

Hey there! I am so excited to share what the last few weeks have been like that I’m going to jump right into it.

I started school! I am officially a nursing student and am proud to say that I am doing very well in all of my classes. I’ve been working hard and it feels great to see it paying off. I’m taking four classes, five days a week: Med/Surg, Body Structure and Function, Nutrition, and Basic Nursing. In addition to school I’m still working part time, so a balancing act has been extremely necessary and slightly tricky to make things work.

                                               

(First day of school! Sorry it's a little blurry.)

Two weeks into my school year I had the amazing opportunity to see my friend and Miss New York sister, Nina Davuluri, become our new Miss America! Nina is a wonderful human being who has been an inspiration to countless young women, including myself. Nina is stunningly beautiful, inside and out, and I am so thankful to have met her at Miss New York 2012. Side Note – When I was crowned Miss Central New York Nina did the crowning. Little did I know that night that I was being crowned by Miss America!

                                                

                   

                         (Me and Nina immediately following the crowning.)

                                       

I am also extremely pleased to announce that I have solidified some very exciting appearances for the month of October. This past Saturday I had the pleasure of acting as a hostess at the Miss Salt City Royalty Pageant for Charity in Syracuse. They are a fantastic organization, and I had a great time with the contestants. And yes I have a lot of pictures; I just haven’t had time to upload them yet. They will be here soon! Tonight I am honored to be modeling in the Mary Kay Fashion Show in Celebration of Domestic Violence and Cancer Survivors at The Beeches Inn and Conference Center in Rome. I had the opportunity to speak at this event last year, and it was truly life changing. To be celebrated as a domestic violence survivor and share my story with a room full of strangers, words cannot begin to express what that night did for me. If you’re free tonight and want to enjoy a night of celebrating life, come out and spend the evening with myself and 50 other models. Show starts at 7 PM.

This Friday, October 11^th, I will be in front of the Amsterdam Wal-Mart collecting money to benefit the Miss Central New York Organization starting at 1pm. Come down to donate, or just say hi! I will be signing autographs and taking pictures all afternoon! October 20^th will find me traveling to Corning to watch my beautiful teen, Libby Kleinschmidt, give up her title as Miss Finger Lakes Outstanding Teen. Before and after the pageant I will be at the Corning Wal-Mart collecting money for the Children’s Miracle Network.

I’m really excited about the upcoming months. The best part about being a titleholder is getting out in the community. I’m so thankful to represent such a large portion of the state and I truly hope to reach as much of it as I can. If you would like to make an appearance in your area or at a special community event, please contact Maxine Gasser at:  mlgasser3@gmail.com or the Central New York Organization at: www.misscny.org.